Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Day 15 ~ The Elijah Syndrome

Distance: 3.08 miles
Time: 47.06
Pace: 15'16" per mile
Calories: 394

Let me briefly explain what the "Elijah Syndrome" is. First of all, if you've never read Elijah's story in the bible, I highly recommend it. You'll find it in 1 Kings. The Elijah syndrome is basically a great feeling of disappointment, loneliness, and failure following a time of great success. Elijah boldly and publicly stood against the agnostic prophets of the god, Baal, and he was left exhausted, disappointed, and alone.

We find Elijah in this state under a juniper tree. This is when he proceeds to have a pity party and tell God to just "kill me, I've had enough". He goes on to tell God all the things he has done (like He didn't know) and feels like he is the "only one". This, my friends, is exhaustion. When ever you begin to feel like you're the only one...you might need to step back and take a little time-out.

I'm telling you all this because I had a little taste of this myself yesterday. Bare with me as I whine a bit...it's my blog and I'll cry if I want to.

I married a man who is as slow as molasses in winter. He is darling and lovely...but lord have mercy, he can't get the lead out. Over the course of our marriage, I've learned to be a carpenter, a plumber, and an electrician because; if something is going to get done around here, it's gonna be left up to me to do it. There are several unfinished home-improvement projects in my camp today. They've been going on for quite a while and I'm about to go insane. One of my goals to free myself is to organize and simplify my home. Well, I can't do that when there are air-compressors, skill saws, and a plethora of other tools strewn about in my bedroom. I'm not completely helpless, like I've said I've learned a lot about these things and I'm not afraid to work hard. But, there are just some things I CAN'T DO.

My parents always said, "can't never could". I know that, I believe that, I've even told my own children that. One of our projects is repairing the front door. A wind storm came through several MONTHS ago and blew the storm door open and basically left it unusable. It didn't help that the door had already been through a battle with a goat, but I digress. We ordered a new storm door and when it arrived it didn't fit. It was the closest size we could get and were told that we would simply have to modify the existing frame work to attach the new one. Sounds easy enough. So after this little project has been on hold for a few months, I decided I would jump on it myself yesterday. Failure, failure, exhaustion.

I can't figure out how to change the blade in the router, which I break. I end up making a mess that must now be undone. I sit and say, "I'm the only one. Nobody will help me! Why do I have to be a man?? Doesn't anybody care that the door looks like this?" Then I realized, "NO, they don't care!" Which spirals into..."maybe I shouldn't care either! Maybe I will just hot glue the stupid door on the house! Maybe I'll just go build my own little house and let them crap this one up...or maybe I'll GO LIVE IN A TREE!!"

It was at this point when I could feel the tears welling in my eyes and that familiar pain (the kind you feel when you're in kindergarten and somebody takes your cookie) that I realize that I must just be really tired. I need a graham cracker, a glass of milk and a nap on my pallet.

Today, I'm happy to announce, I'm feeling much better. I refrained from fit-throwing and somehow talked Rodney into fixing the door today. We'll see. I did come to a realization that I'm going to have to slow down just a bit. I can't get everything done in a day. Eventually things do get done, and, homes are always going to need upkeep and...apparently there will always be a project.

and now...a poem.

Every house where love abides
And friendship is a guest,
Is surely home, and home sweet home
For there the heart can rest.
~Henry Van Dyke

by the way...God was pretty unaffected by Elijah's plight. He sent him on his way with more tasks to accomplish and promised him that he was not alone.

2 comments:

  1. I love you and your humorous transparency. Thanks for sharing :-)

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  2. I needed this today!! I just got done yelling at Joey for looking up stupid car parts we wont be able to afford for a LONG time instead of helping me plan our sons 2nd birthday which is NEXT MONTH! He was deployed last year so I had to do it alone which makes me resent him even more for making me do it ALL ALONE when he is HERE!!

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