Day 20 ~ Endorphins

Miles: 3.03

Time: 45:45

Pace: 15'04" per mile

Calories: 388

(I have no logged in a total of 34 miles in 20 days.)

When I was in the depths of what I thought was seasonal depression, I sought every kind of self-help tool I could find. While I've since figured out that my depression was probably not limited to winter alone, I have retained much of the information I gleaned during those months. One thing I remember clearly from a podcast I listened to about 50 times, is that daily exercise is a good thing to do for physical health, but for mental health... it is imperative. Scientific studies prove that physical exercise will greatly reduce anxiety, depression, chronic fatigue, and stress. This is contributed to the fact that when we exercise, our brains release chemicals called endorphins. Endorphins cause similar responses in the body and brain as an opiate would. In short, you feel happy. (and it's legal)

After 20 days of regular exercise, I had my first opiate influenced morning. With mounting pressures surrounding me (most of which are financial), I could typically see myself wigging out about now. Several reasons contribute to the fact that we've fallen way behind on our bills, some of which are our own fault, some... out of our control. Oddly enough, I've found myself calmly making decisions and taking blows over the head very well. I'll not go into details.

This morning, I found my way to the coffee pot and sat down at the table. Before me was one of those "critter box" things housing the most magnificent salamander which had been harvested by Kyle from the woods the previous day. I sat sipping my coffee and observing his every detail. He was slimy and brown with incredible yellow spots. His head moved slowly back and forth like something from prehistoric times, fascinating. I asked if he would be beneficial for my pumpkin patch but was informed by Kyle that he was taking him to the science teacher at school. We discussed, at length, the size of the poo-poo he had made sometime during the night. It was at this point that I started to feel a little big giddy. Sitting at the breakfast table, sipping coffee, and discussing salamander poo.

After the kids had gone (and the salamander) Rodney and I lingered in the kitchen like we do most mornings talking about chores that need to be done and getting some sort of game plan together. Rodney was filling his water jug and was waving away a pesky fly that was persistently pursuing his face. I grabbed the fly swatter and began to seek out the menace. He landed on the counter, I swatted and missed. I was still looking for the pest when Rodney announced that the fly was now on his head. This is when the crescendo of endorphins swelled to an incredible high. Not only was I was wielding a weapon in which I had full intentions of walloping my husband with, but I had been given permission to do so. I threw back the fly swat like a Samari warrior and brandished it directly on his noodle. It was at this point that a great cloud of dust manifested itself from his hat. The whole scene left me laughing hysterically with great satisfaction. I'd killed the fly and been allowed to hit my husband in the head, a fulfilling morning in any woman's eyes. All the while, Rodney just stood there looking confused and wondering what was so funny.

Yes, indeed, I do believe those endorphins are kicking in. It's like getting a free, legal high. I had a dream the other night about dark storm clouds on the horizon. I looked up the meaning of this (something that has always fascinated me)...it said that this dream indicated a impending eruption of emotion. I hope that was it. I hope the emotional eruption was a hysterical, laughing fit over the fact that I'd been allowed to beat my husband with a fly swat.

Also, today marks the day that I am to begin my strength training. This will be done in the evenings. If I do it in the mornings, I would have to spend the rest of the day in the hospital. I'll let you know how I feel tomorrow after I do lunges tonight. I'm frightened Auntie Em, I'm frightened.