Wednesday, September 8, 2010

New Beginnings

I've come to a conclusion, I've got to get freed up. This new blog is intended to chronicle my expedition to do just that. I am going to begin by doing some confessing for I've heard that one can only begin recovery when there is an admission of a problem. There are too many problems to list but here goes the basics...

  1. I am completely out of control
  2. There is absolutely no structure to my life
  3. I'm riddled with A.D.D. (this is not an excuse for my problems at all)
  4. I'm overweight
  5. Out of shape
  6. I don't eat right
  7. I have nightly wine/cheese feasts
  8. I lavish hours in front of the computer and television
  9. My house is a wreck
  10. I am depressed
  11. I'm struggling with God
  12. I don't pray like I should
  13. I don't study scripture like I should, in fact, my bible stays in my book bag until church.
  14. Our farm finances are a mess because they were entrusted to me
  15. I have about 100 projects going and none of them finished
  16. I'm frustrated
  17. I feel like I'm not good enough for my husband
  18. I feel like I'm not good enough for my children
  19. I hardly cook
  20. I need FREEDOM
So with all that being said, now is the point to do something. The reason I decided to start this blog is to simply record my endeavors, my struggles, my victories. I am praying that, perhaps, I can be an inspiration to others as I pull myself from this self-inflicted pit. There is a chance that I may be the only person alive who is a pit-dweller but I doubt it.

I tasted a bit of freedom a few years ago when I was walking/jogging daily. My head was clearer, I was accomplishing more, and the big thing was...I felt happy. Now I have a sense of what it feels like to be free and a clear picture of how crappy it is to be in bondage; I choose freedom. What I will do differently this time is, instead of just focusing on physical health, I've got to do a complete makeover, body, mind, spirit.

This will be my place to pour it all out.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! Philippians 4:13

1 comment:

  1. You are encouraging me by sharing your journey. I love your heart. I really identified with this sentence: "My mental struggle was much more painful than the physical act of getting out and doing the thing." I remember when I realized this was my primary struggle in many areas of my life and I was so excited because I thought that this 'knowing' would make those choices so much easier and soon I would no longer have to face those battles everyday. It really hasn't worked out like I expected. For me, it is still choice after choice, day after day, one choice at a time and denying myself has not reached an 'easy' level for me yet. Thanks for sharing and encouraging! Love you!