Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Day 72 ~ Mawwiage

Mawwiage. Mawwiage is what bwings us togevah today.

That Martha Stewart episode I mentioned in my last blog gave me some other insight besides the therapeutic benefits of our beloved pets. Martha said that it takes decades to develop a garden like the one pictured below. Years of toil and labor, lots of trial and error, some victories, some disappointments, but over time something beautiful emerges.

What she said that intrigued me was that it only takes one year of neglect for it to become overgrown and go back to seed. The weeds must be pulled as they come up because if you ignore them, before long, you're going to have quite an incredible mess. You'll have something that looks more like this.


I heard this analogy in reference to marriage many years ago when Rodney and I were seeing a counselor. Marriage has to be maintained like a garden. It means...work! That whole "Happily Ever After" stuff is such a load of crap. If people tell me they've had nothing but bliss...I automatically think that they are big fat liars. I know couples that I've watched from afar that seemingly have the sweetest most endearing relationship with each other. Then, I am thrilled to find out that they struggle with the same stuff that everybody does.

So, as Rodney and I stand on the brink of an empty nest, I've been doing some serious soul-searching about our marriage. In a way, it is exciting that we will have more time with each other. But, on the other hand...it scares the crap out of me. I always wonder, "what in the world are we going to do?" We have couples that we aspire to be like when we grow up. The ones that are active. The couples that travel together and are involved, that's who we want to be. There are days though, when I see us forever on this farm with nothing to talk about but the price of gas and the weather. And, some days that seems ok with me too.

We've developed a very close friendship over the past 19 years. I'm pretty sure that is going to be the key to enduring to the end. We laugh about most things, even the crazy stressful stuff. We depend on each other for support. There is nothing I feel I can't say to him. But, even though we've developed all this, it must be maintained. The roots have grown deep and we've managed to keep most of the weeds a bay, but it only takes a season of neglect to loose it all. Scary isn't it?

So, cheawwish your wwove.

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