Sunday, December 26, 2010

The Day after Christmas

I am sitting alone in my living room. Nothing but the sound of the wind-chimes outside and the quite tapping of the keyboard. The Christmas tree is still proudly displayed in it's corner and will remain there until after the New Year. Sometimes I wish I could leave it up all year long. Empty boxes are peppered throughout the house, festive foods still lingering in the kitchen, and I sit reflecting and a bit dazed about what the heck just came barreling through my life.

About 3 days before Christmas, I started feeling an all too familiar aura of illness in my head. My throat started hurting, headaches, chills, exhaustion, general ickyness swept over me. I tried so hard to ignore it, will it away, but I was defeated. So, for the second Christmas in a row, I celebrated the season in a fog. Christmas always comes ripping through here like a freight train anyway, but the addition of an illness makes it so much harder to enjoy.

Despite my illness, I kept the tradition of having all the family for dinner at my house on Christmas eve. By this time, Rodney and Taylor were both sick too. We were trudging along like zombies, we must press onward, it's Christmas! For a brief shinning moment, my home was filled with laughter, song, and merriment. We gathered in the living room and sang songs of joy and peace, it was indescribably beautiful. How I wanted to bottle it up and save it always, to keep it with me forever.

After the extended family went home and we were left to exchange our family gifts, I was almost as surprised as the others to see what what in their boxes. My head had been in such a fog while doing the wrapping, I couldn't, for the life of me, remember what was in them. I had even written the wrong name on one and, subsequently, Rodney opened a gift that was meant for somebody else. One of the gifts I gave Rodney was a re-wrapped gift that I gave him last year that never got used. He looked at me and smiled with half-opened, red, swollen, runny eyes and said, in a stuffy-nosed, hoarse voice, "that's funny right there." It was pitiful but precious.

We are slowly starting to get better. Aimee and J.R. will be here late tonight and will stay until the New Year. It will be so good to have them here and to love on them for a while. I am praying that whatever demon-alien-mutant sickness this is will not be passed on.

I am brainstorming resolutions. Some will have to do with this blog. I'm afraid to state anything too concrete for fear that I will only disappoint everyone. Over the holidays, I had family members saying, "what happened to your blog??" The only excuse I have is busyness and sickness. There are several things in mind to start fresh for the new year. One thing for sure is that January 1 will begin again with DAY 1...Every day is day 1 for me, but I do need a fresh beginning. For the next week I will be soul-searching and deciding which way to go with the this blog and with my journey to freedom. One idea (and I really like this one because it scares me and challenges me a bit) is to take a photo of every sunrise for the next year. 365 sunrises. This will prompt me to get out of bed early every morning and begin with a spiritual, prayerful, God-moment each day. I'm still thinking about it, but it came to me like a raindrop from heaven last night, I almost feel like it is a challenge set before me by God.

Day 1 will come very quickly. Today, I am going to rest, heal, and eat some chicken soup (and probably another couple pieces of Christmas candy). God has blessed me beyond comprehension and I pray that you blessed today and every day.

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