Friday, July 15, 2011

Self Image

Everybody has something about their image that they would love to change. Curly-haired people want straight hair, straight-haired people want curly hair, short people want to be taller and tall people wish they weren't so tall.

I went on a road trip recently with a friend and we talked for a while about self image. She is one of those tall lovely people, long flowing hair, pretty complexion, slender and all around beautiful. I sat in amazement as I listened to her list of things she wished she could change about her body, even as far as her big toe. I wonder why we do this. Why can't we just be happy with what God gave us.

A few days ago, Kyle had to get 3 stitches above his lip and all I kept thinking was his beautiful perfect face would have a scar. It didn't phase him in the least and the nurse said that scars just make you more interesting. I had a few facebook comments on the picture I posted of his poor little lip that mentioned Harrison Ford and his iconic chin-scar that has become so sexy.

Yesterday, I shot the picture above while riding around in Rodney's old farm truck. You can't even see my face and I shredded it to pieces with criticisms. I started a blog a long time ago about my hands, but never finished it. It is somewhere in my list of blogs to be edited, or maybe I just thought about doing it but never did. Anyway, God graced me with big ol donkey girl scout hands. They are really good at milking goats, feeding chickens, holding lumber, massaging backs, hammering nails, carrying bags of feed, wielding a shovel, picking up bales of hay, typing blogs and cleaning toilets...but they just aren't very pretty. When my cousin, Anna, was about 6 years old, she was sitting in my lap and holding my hands and said, "you have fat hands!" I told her that they weren't really fat but God knew I was going to be a farmer so he gave me nice substantial hands in order to do all the things I would need to do. She looked them over again thoroughly and said, "no... they're fat". Of course I laughed hysterically and agreed that they really aren't the prettiest things in the world but, for now, they work.

Does anybody remember the episode of Seinfeld when he dated the woman with "man hands"? I so feel that way sometimes. Why did I get man hands? WHY??

To top things off, I'm getting more gray hair every day. A few nights ago, the most horrible thing happened. I was examining my face in the mirror and found a hair on my chin. Not a little peach-fuzz hair, but a long wiry one. I thought I was going to have to take a valium or something. After I pulled it out and shamefully crawled into bed, I told Rodney about it, threw the pillow over my head and said, "don't look at me! I'm hideous!!" We had a big laugh and he assured me he still loved me, despite the fact that I was growing whiskers.

The "Virtuous Woman" in Proverbs 31 is one of those women we love to hate. She's like Martha Stewart. But, as many times as I've read that passage of scripture, there isn't a thing about how pretty she is. In fact, one of the end phrases of the passage is what comforts me more than anything. In vs 30 it simply says, "Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised".

I'm working on my spirit. 1 Peter 3: 3-4 says that "our adorning should not be external by braiding hair and wearing of gold jewelry or the clothes we wear. But our adorning should be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle quiet spirit, this is precious in the sight of the Lord". So, I continue to strive for gentleness and a quiet spirit. I will also continue to do my best and take care of my body and try and make peace with what I've been given physically. I'll also continue to look for whiskers and quickly remove them. I'm sure the virtuous woman would have done the same thing.

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