I looked over the calendar today and decided that October 6th will be my last day of the fast. Since I did a little juice on Monday, I was considering letting that be my "day 1" but I would be cheating myself. This means that I am officially on day 2 today.
Yesterday was no fun. I was hungry (extremely hungry) for most of the day. There was a lot of debating with myself and rationalizing reasons to eat. I had a terrible headache and felt very tired. I took a nap but still felt really groggy and like my head was in a fog. Then I had to make dinner for Kyle and Rodney which was like the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.
I woke up this morning feeling a whole lot better, not nearly as hungry and only a slight headache. When I made my way to the kitchen I saw this...
Rodney is so used to cooking breakfast for two, he had a prepared plate sitting on the counter. The pork patties were left over from last night. I said, through my drool, "is this for Kyle?" He said that it was and I watched them both chow down and wanted to cry a little bit. It really wasn't as bad this morning as it was last night. I'm a big "taster" when I'm cooking so it was extremely difficult to prepare a meal and not even have a taste. But, I did it...one tiny milestone.
Then I began to prepare what I would be having for the day.
That would take a really long time to chew. By the way, I really really like my juicer. There is such an air of excitement when those veggies hit that blade and all the juice starts coming out. (I'm having trouble staying focused enough to finish my thoughts.) I've been assured by the many blogs and websites on juicing that once I get past the first couple of days, I'm going to feel amazing. They'd better be right.
When all the veggies (and one apple) are nice and juiced, I've got a clean up to do. It definitely looks like somebody pureed a gremlin in my kitchen.
and, there is all this pulp left. Somebody told me I could use it in breads and things of that nature. I'm not sure I could bring myself to bake bread right now. My goats are enjoying eating it for me.
I've decided that I like the juice much better over ice. I did go for a walk/jog this morning and felt pretty good. As I was making my way past the pond, I got a whiff of that pond smell and realized that it smelled a lot like the juice, in fact, that green algae stuff looked like the juice! Now I've got a twisted vision in my head of me drinking slimy pond water. My head is messed up, like seriously.
I'm learning that most of what I'm feeling is not physiological, but mental. It's becoming clearer that this fast is not only going to be about cleansing my body of toxins and boosting my health and energy, but about purging my mind of twisted thinking. While my body is detoxifying, my soul is as well. Along with the chemical toxins leaving my body, I'm also aware of the struggle to eliminate fear and doubt.
I'm hoping today will be easier than yesterday and that tomorrow will be better than today.