Monday, January 2, 2012

No words

A new year...

It sounds so cliche', it even sounds cliche' to say it sounds cliche'...but, where has the time gone? 

I've been reflecting on the past weeks and how fast they've gone by. Christmas came and went like a snowflake on a warm tongue. I tried so hard to grasp it, to feel those childhood joys, to experience the magic. It was in the quiet moments of baking in my kitchen or slipping into flannel sheets at the end of the day where I found the beauty of it all. Perhaps one day I will learn the lesson that joy and peace aren't things that can be wrangled in, but something I allow to cover me.

On Friday, I was rushing around getting ready for a ball game. I'd let the morning slip away from me and was paying for my laxity. I had about 15 minutes left before I had to leave or I was going to be late. On top of having to get my own self ready, some other things came up at the last minute that had to be attended to as well. As I was hurriedly rushing around, the dogs started barking and I looked outside to see a truck with it's driver standing there in the driveway. I recognized him immediately. His short stout stature, his dark skin, his cowboy hat. It was Alberto.  He used to work on the farm down the road from us. He speaks no english and we always had great fun trying to communicate with him. I knew he'd gone back to Mexico and I hadn't seen him in over a year.

My first reaction was frustration..."I don't have time to deal with Alberto!" I really didn't want to go talk to him. I felt invaded. He showed up at the wrong time, in my book. My book is sad sometimes. I heard the voice of the spirit say, "Just GO out there". So, hesitantly, I obeyed. I opened the door and Emma went bounding down the sidewalk, scared poor Alberto half to death which caused him to jump back in his truck. "She won't hurt you!" I tried to explain. Of course I could have been saying, "She eats peoples toes for snacks" and he wouldn't have known the difference. After Emma had been settled a bit, he got back out of his truck and we began to exchange words. I'd been reading that morning about the things that can't be put into words... love, passion, fear, joy, sorrow. Those intangible emotions that can be understood without saying anything at all, they just are what they are. Standing in the driveway with a man who could not understand my words and whom I could not understand...I experienced exactly this. From his charades of hands and the few spanish words I did know, it became apparent that his wife had died recently. There was a moment between us that I can't quite describe. Since words were futile and pointless in our conversation, all that was left was that which cannot be spoken. I touched his arm out of the pure instinct of compassion and in my own language told him how sorry I was. Knowing he couldn't understand my words, I knew he would understand my sympathy so I just spoke the only way I could. His eyes were locked on mine for just a moment. No words were spoken or even necessary. There was only the spirit of God hovering over us and my heart was flooded with love.

He didn't stay long. He asked about Rodney and Taylor and Kyle and I figured we must have all been as amusing to him as he was to us during the time he was our neighbor. He really wanted to see Rodney and left me to my rushing around to go find him. When I talked to Rodney later, he said he'd experienced the same humanity and God exchange with our sweet little Mexican friend. While we were talking about it all, it dawned on me that I would have missed it if I had stayed in my state of frustration and stayed dead-set on making it to the ball-game on time. If I hadn't obeyed the spirit and just stopped what I was doing for a moment and simply walked down my sidewalk, I would have missed the whole thing. It only took a moment of my time but impacted me greatly. I'm sure I'll always remember that moment. The one that can't be explained or put into words or blogged about. I can only tell you the event of what happened. But the occurrence of humanity and love and of the moving of spirit between two human beings who don't even speak the same language... can't be hemmed in by words. It is far to vast and infinite.

Surrendering myself to the universe, to the spirit, to God is opening up doors I didn't know were there. It is all so intangible and sweet and precious that nothing that is happening in my life can hardly be put on a list or counted or numbered. Probably why I'm not blogging as much anymore. Because words can't describe it all.

Today has come. It is here. My heart is glad. Let's all go live in it.

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