Mother's Day Musings

Yesterday was Mother's Day. I spent the day surrounded by the love of my husband and children and one little precious granddaughter. There was cooking and laughter and chaos...three of my favorite things in life. If you're lucky, you'll eventually reach a place where all the little calculations about how life should be disappear into an appreciation for what is. I have found that I can ride the wave of chaos and behold the beauty of it instead of trying to wrangle it in and slather my ridiculous expectations all over it. It's just more fun that way. Besides, I must have missed the book of rules that tells us how any day should look. Whether it's Mother's Day or Christmas or a Tuesday. It is much more enjoyable to let it unfold before you and let the big wide universe reveal its gifts to you.

But seriously.

What I really wanted to write about was that little one peaking at me between her mother and her aunt. She's a big glorious soul toddling around in a teeny little body. As we all are.

She fascinates me.

I would have never thought that one of the most spiritually profound things I would ever witness in my life would be a tiny human shoveling food into their mouth with their chubby little hands. I could watch it endlessly, and she's more than happy to provide.

   

We were walking through the pasture yesterday trying to find a spot for pictures. As we dodged cow pies in search of good light, I stopped a picked her a flower to entertain her while I took a couple of practice shots with my camera. As I reached down to pluck that little flower from the earth, one among a million, I was struck with how God could grow a field of flowers and know that there would be that one that would get to be carried and crushed by those sweet little fingers. It's one of the things that helps me to let go and allow the unfolding to happen. I'm not in control anyway. If our Creator knows those little details, maybe I don't need to bother so much with them. 

This doesn't mean that I don't have hopes. It means that I allow my life to be messy and confusing because, life IS messy and confusing. Hope, hope I have. 

Being around a new soul creates a whole new set of hopes, not just for you but for them. I was thinking about what I hoped for her and it's something like this. 

I hope that she always loves as fiercely and purely as she does now. 

I hope that she's never ashamed to show her feelings and that she never feels like they are invalid. 

I hope she has to forgive someone that she doesn't want to forgive. 

I hope that if anyone ever makes fun of her, that she will so strongly know her worth that it will only strengthen her. 

I hope that if someone does make fun of her that her daddy is around and that he, at least, unclips his holster. 

I hope that her heart gets broken so that she will know the grace of the universe to mend it. 

I hope that she will listen to the kind of music that moves her soul. 

I hope that she doesn't listen to small minds that tell her God isn't in it. 

I hope she tries lots of things and that she messes it up and tries again and decides what she likes and doesn't like based on her own passion and gifts 

I hope she aways has a cheering section when she does something amazing and... when she does something ridiculous. 

I hope she IS ridiculous and I hope she owns it

I hope she sees the beauty in the fact that she is alive

I hope that when she's 40, she still eats with her hands

I hope she meets someone to show her new things and be her best friend

I hope that when she feels lost and afraid, that she will know she is never alone

I hope that she floats on her back in the river and looks up at the sky and listens to the sound of her own heartbeat 

I hope she laughs so hard she can't catch her breath. I hope she does this a lot. 

I hope that she knows that she came here pure and whole and full of joy and that there is nothing she can ever do to change that. 

I hope she does some stuff that makes us all uncomfortable 

I hope she demands her way and I hope she realizes that her way may not be the best

I hope she does life big and crazy and hysterical

I hope her spirit is never crushed by the expectations of others...even mine 

I hope she always finds fascination in things like 

dirt

rocks

mooing cows

chickens

and big floppy dog cheeks

I hope she is ALWAYS excited that it's time to eat

and, I hope we get to eat together A LOT

I hope I do all of these things too.